Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is buying for women. So, follow these rules and you should have no problems. Rule #1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why. Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. Bye-the-way, are you through with my 5/8-inch deep well socket yet?" Again, no one knows why. Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why. Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted man to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts. Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips, and clicks and clicks and clicks. Rule #6: Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. You'll be looking at the container for the next five years. They never get empty. Nobody knows why. Rule #7: Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink. Dog. Open. Close. Mine. Don't Touch." You get the idea. No one knows why. Rule #8: Buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will fascinate him to be challenged and do say "ooh and ahh" when he shows off what he "built". However, never ask why there are parts left over. Rule #9: Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Lowes, Home Depot, John Deere, Fin & Feather, and Bass Pro Shops. NAPA Auto Parts, and Sear's Tool Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Way cool. Thanks." Rule #10: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him you think the gas line leaks. The thrill! The challenge! "Who wants a burger?" Rule #11: Tickets to a Cowboys/Bulls/Rangers/Bears game's etc. are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Or "A Night of Madrigal Music". Everyone knows why. Rule #12: Men love chainsaws. However, never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #7 and what happens when he gets a label maker. Rule #13: It's hard to beat a really good power tool of some kind. The more horsepower the better. And if it makes a lot of noise, that's a real plus. Lots of chrome is also a good enhancer. No one knows why. Rule #14: Men love unique things. Go look in the neighbors garage, and then buy him something that the neighbor doesn't have (ref rule 9). Doesn't matter if he will ever use it, as long as he can say he has one and he can show the neighbor how it works. No one understands this one either. Happy shopping!!!