When does a woman enjoy a man's company? When he owns it. What are a woman's four favorite animals? A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom, and a jackass who'll pay for it all. How do you get a man to do sit-ups? Put the remote control between his toes Why do men have legs? So their brains don't drag on the ground. What did God say after creating man? I must be able to do better than that. What did God say after creating Eve? "Practice makes perfect." How are men and parking spots alike? All the good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped or extremely small. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? They're married. Why are married women heavier than single women? Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A widow. Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her." "But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So she would love you." Why did Moses wander the desert for 40 years? He wouldn't ask for directions. What do men have in common with tile floors? If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for the rest of your life.