The Pessimist's guide to Engineer-talk. (what they say - what they mean) -------------------------------------- "That's interesting" - Shit! I've never seen anything remotely like that before. "We'll just run diagnostics" - I wonder if that'll give us a clue. "So we've eliminated XXX" - It's probably XXX, but it's bloody hard to get at. "I've just powered it down" - I tripped over that bloody power cord again "Ok, that's good" - What the hell was that noise?!? "We've noticed some failure evidence" - Something's burning... "If you'll just..." - I don't want to be the one to blame when it crashes "Yes, you'd expect to see that..." - Hell, that's stuffed as well! "We'll just fit a revision" - We'll put the same version in from a different tape. "A number of different approaches are being tried" - We are still pissing in the wind. "Extensive report is being prepared on a fresh approach to the problem" - We just hired three kids fresh out of college. "close project coordination" - We know who to blame. "Major technological breakthrough" - It works OK, but looks very hi-tech. "Customer satisfaction is delivered assured" - We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered. "preliminary operational tests were inconclusive" - The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch. "Test results were extremely gratifying" - We are so surprised that the stupid thing works. "The entire concept will have to be abandoned" - The only person who understood the thing quit. "It is in the process" - It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless. "We will look into it" - Forget it! We have enough problems for now. "Please note and initial" - Let's spread the responsibility for the screw up. "Give us the benefit of your thinking" - We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done. "Give us your interpretation" - I can't wait to hear this bull! "See me" or "Let's discuss" - Come into my office, I'm lonely. "All new" - Parts not interchangeable with the previous design. "Rugged" - Too damn heavy to lift! "Lightweight" - Lighter than RUGGED. "Years of development" - One finally worked. "Energy saving" - Achieved when the power switch is off. "Low maintenance" - Impossible to fix if broken.