Everything I Need to Know, I Learned in the Corporate World
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1.   Indecision is the key to flexibility.
 
2.   Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
 
3.   Sometimes too much drink is not enough.
 
4.   Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
 
5.   Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
 
6.   I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
 
7.   Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
 
8.   If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
 
9.   All things being equal, fat people use more soap.
 
10.  If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to
     blame.
 
11.  Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
 
12.  The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
 
13.  There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
 
14.  This is as bad as it can get, but don't count on it.
 
15.  The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
 
16.  Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
 
17.  The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.