IBM TO PARTNER WITH DENNY'S

     A late breaking story: IBM has announced a long-term technology sharing
agreement with the Denny's restaurant chain.  An IBM spokesman indicated that
the move is an indication of IBM's commitment to stay in business through a
series of increasingly pathetic consortium attempts.  "Frankly, our competitors
are eating our lunch in this very competitive marketplace.  With Denny's, we
can start serving lunch, and maybe stay ahead of the game."

     Analysts welcome the move, pointing out that both firms mesh nicely.  "IBM
has never been in the restaurant business, and the only computers at Denny's 
are the cash registers.  The two firms complement each other perfectly.  Best
of all, both companies can retain the menu driven interfaces to their products
without confusing the end user!"

     The first joint effort between the two companies will be an offering from
IBM involving expansion disk drives encased in an edible, pita bread housing.
Denny's will begin selling a Grand Slam Workstation, and will offer a free 
memory upgrade to every customer on their birthday.

     IBM is a multi-jillion dollar firm that used to sell a large number of
computers.  They continue to stay in business, even though no one has met a 
person who has actually purchased an IBM machine in the past five years.